“I am here to keep becoming truer, more beautiful versions of myself again and again forever. To be alive is to be in a perpetual state of revolution. Whether I Like it or not, pain is the fuel of revolution. Everything I need to become the woman (human) I’m meant to be next is inside my feelings now. Life is alchemy, and emotions are the fire that turns me to gold. I will continue to become only if I resist extinguishing myself a million times a day. If I can sit in the fire of my own feelings, I will keep becoming.”
Glennon Doyle
Becoming a more truer version of ourselves, perhaps that is the biggest learning of this pandemic. I have never questioned my values, my relationships, my integrity, my responsibilities, and the people and things that I love and care about, so much as during the past year.
My whole life has pivoted, in ways that were necessary both professionally and personally.
I listened to a video the other day, with Simon Sinek, which seemed to encapsulate exactly what I was feeling. We can’t go back to the way things were, that is the nature of change. Many people talk about when things go back to normal, when things are stable again – but you know the truth is, life isn’t stable. And I wonder what the heck is normal? In the history of my life, I don’t think I could ever describe my life as “normal”, nor would I truthfully want to.
We are constantly changing, and resisting that change only limits our growth. Can we be creative in how we move with the flow of life, especially when the waters are a little extra choppy. I urge you to look at how you respond in times of crisis in your own life, be honest with yourself here.
Then I urge you to look at the ways you keep yourself resourced? On a daily basis. How do you fill yourself back up?
People are feeling a lot of different emotions, and if you’re anything like me you are feeling not only your own often intense waves, but also the ripple effects of those around you. My anchors keep reminding me to be a little extra gentle right now, and I want to remind you to do the same.
One of the saddest things I am attuning to these days is all of the division. What makes your decisions more right than anybody else? For you, absolutely, but for them? For them, the only person that knows their whole story and understands their reasoning – is them. So please, maybe ask more questions, and be a little extra gentle right now.
As I make decisions in my own life with the ways I am in service, I am really sitting with it all. I feel we should all have the space to speak our truth, and to not face judgement for that truth – is that not how we grow stronger in ourselves, and as a community? As humans it is my hopes we would have empathy for one another, especially during times of crises.
I was vaccinated so I could see my mom who lives in a different city from me, probably for the last time. I was told I would not have been able to have touched her had I not made that choice, and potentially not even be able to be with her – I knew that was how I could best reach her. I have an autoimmune disorder which added to this picture, and made all these decisions a little more complex, none of this has been easy.
To the best of my ability I sit with all sides of this story we’re moving through globally, I certainly don’t have clarity and am not afraid to admit I don’t know what the best thing to do is, I am confused – I sense like many.
I often sit long and quietly with all of this.
I have had conversations around holding in person classes again, and I started to cry as I imagined myself on one side of the fence, and people I have held safe space for over the years, people dear to my heart – on the other side of the fence because they made a different choice in alignment with who they are and what they need.
I have decided to continue with my online classes as we move through the fall and winter, a safe neutral space where people can just be held.
I don’t want to exclude anyone, or add to the division, especially holding classes responsibly with the intention to help us all to heal and to find our way again. For me, I need to sit with this all a little longer, so I can move with integrity, honouring the deep respect I feel in my soul for all of you, and staying anchored with compassion regardless of what and who shows up.
These decisions are complicated, especially when we’re faced with hurt hearts because people, it seems these days, often don’t even want to take the time to really listen to your story. Many are also scared to be honest and talk about being confused or decisions made – for fear of rejection.
We all have our stories, and can we try to hear eachother, especially when it’s not comfortable – it’s when we need it most.
Sending you so much love on your journey,
With a gentle heart
Amber
If you’d like to join me online for a class you can register by clicking on the days you’d like to join, and you can purchase class passes here.
I will continue to hold some outdoor forest classes, private sessions, and move with fluidity through these changing times – the changing times of an entire life lived. I will eventually return to in person classes, but I need more time to sit with this all.
Supporting you with some soul nourishment and self-reflection, Jessica and I created our soul wisdom cards, made with love from our hearts to yours. Find out more here.